Wow!  I haven’t blogged in ages and now I am starting out with such a taboo subject.  I hate stirring up the pot.  I respect people’s choices and feel that most have good intentions behind their actions.  I hate to write about stuff like this because I never want somebody who has had an abortion to feel that I think they are “bad” people.  Nonsense!  As I said, I think most people’s intentions are good. 

Nevertheless, I feel compelled to write something that could possibly sway somebody who has found out that their child will be born with DS.  I am hoping they chose life.  Let’s be honest here.  It is completely overwhelming to hear that the child you are carrying will have any sort of handicap.  I only learned of my daughter’s handicap at birth.  I can not imagine what it would be like to have known in advance of her birth.  I remember feeling so fearful when I first learned that she may have DS. I was so fearful that I would not be able to simply deal with all the challenges.  I imagine this fear plays a large role in determining wether a parent will choose termination or continue with their pregnancy.  Oh how I understand so many of those fearful and overwhelming feelings. 

So for the longest time I hated the whole pro-life vs. pro-choice debate.  Yes.  I am pro-life.  Still, I didn’t feel comfortable speaking out against abortion.  I always felt that abortion was such a complicated issue.  There are so many difficult situations that women are faced with.  It’s not just Down Syndrome.  Some women have been raped.  Other women are told of other handicaps or serious physical diseases and birth defects.  Others have very real practical issues such as money, schooling, etc to deal with.  Nothing simple at all.

Then one day I heard this wonderful pro-life activist. (Sadly, her name escapes me.)  Anyway, she totally acknowledged these difficult circumstances women face.  She conceded that these very circumstances are indeed complicated.   Then she pointed out that they were surrounding circumstances.  The actual issue at hand was abortion.  Regardless of the circumstances, one has to address wether abortion is right or wrong.  She pointed out that if a woman gave birth to a child and then LATER decided to murder her child because these described circumstances everybody would agree this is so very wrong.  Why is it that we don’t feel the same when the child is killed for the very same circumstances in utero?  Is it not a human being?  Does it not deserve to live?

So many of my fears surrounding my daughter’s diagnosis were needless.  She is my joy.  Yes, there are times that are sorrowful and difficult.  But I could never snuff out her life.  That is the bottom line.  How can we not allow these little ones to have a chance?  They have right to live.  I have come to believe that genetic anomolies are just a natural part of nature.  There are so many 3 leaf clovers, but we love the rare time we find a 4 leaf clover because it is extra special.  Isn’t my daughter extra special because of her extra chromosome?  I firmly believe so.

When my daughter was first diagnosed, I worried so much about her being teased by others. I am sure like all kids, she will have to endure her share of teasing. I do have concerns that she maybe subjected to extra cruelties due to her disabilities.

So far, I must honestly say it seems like Donna Marie just brings out the best in others. I have never felt anybody has been intentionally mean or unaccepting of her. Yes, a few children have been puzzled by her making that “mmmm” sound instead of talking. However, once I explain the situation, these same kids seem to be put at ease and seem to take her in. Some adults have been curious about her condition. Once they knew I was open and approachable, they too were put at ease.

For the most part, she has been instantly accepted and I’d even say loved by complete strangers. Today, I saw an acquaintance who only knew my son. I don’t think she even knew I had a daughter. She is sort of a stern and sort of cold person. A good person, but definitely a no nonsense ice queen. The minute she spotted Donna Marie, the ice melted….lol. I saw a side to this woman I did not even know existed! I am so grateful to my daughter for opening my eyes to the possiblity that so many people may be filled with an enormous well of kindness that may sometimes be hidden. I think it is Donna Marie’s pure heart and soul that brings out all this