Me too!

My son is 14 months younger than my DS daughter. He is 2. He totally worships and idolizes his big sis. Although he is normal/typcial he will model all of her behaviors EXACTLY as she performs them. Has anybody else seen this with their children? For example, although he can walk normally, if we are working on Donna’s walking, he will imitate her gait and fall after a few steps.  Although we spend a great deal of time working with Donna, we also spend alot of time paying attention to him as well.  I know it is normal for children to model their older siblings, but she is his only older sibling. I do try to bring him places where he is exposed to typical children and he will start preschool next year.  Logically I know that he will not grow up to be an adult that acts like he has an extra chromosome  but I wonder what other people’s experiences have been in this situation.  Thanks alot.

Do YOU tell?

When you meet somebody initially, do you explain to them that your child has Down Syndrome? I have seen two types of DS parents. Those who tell and those who don’t. The ones that don’t tell feel that it is pretty obvious that their child has DS and feel that it is not fair to have to “explain” their child’s condition to others.

I am from the other group. Yes, it is obvious that there is something different about my daughter. She has the almond shaped eyes, wears orthotics and acts younger than her typical peers. I am sure people spot this. I am POSITIVE that they are saying to themselves, “That kid must be handicapped. Does she have Down’s? It must be difficult. I don’t want to be nosy.”

This is my chance to educate people about DS! This is my chance to put them at ease so that they can ask questions! This is my chance to show people that, sure it sucks that she is not typical, but it is not so bad as you may imagine. In fact my daughter is quite wonderful.

I would much rather put people at ease and be open about my daughter’s DS. I would rather hear them ask me questions about DS than have them silently wondering about it and walking on eggs around me.

I find it easy to work it into my conversations with other parents. I will often say, “This is my son. He is 2. My daughter is 3. People mistake them for twins because of her delays due to DS.”
From this point people will say something like, “Oh I am so SORRY.” To this I like to reply, “It’s okay. It’s not what you may imagine. She is doing well and quite happy.” Some people will have more detailed questions like, “Did you know before hand?” or “Do they know if she is just mildy retarded?” etc. I try to be as open and honest as I can. I have never been offended by anyone’s questioning. (Ofcourse I am a very open person in general so that may make this easier for me in that respect.) I always view these interactions as a chance to show folks that people with Down Syndrome are actually a wonderful gift to this world. It is my chance to show them that they are not to be pitied and that often despite their limitations, they often exceed our expectations.

Readers, any thoughts on this? Do YOU tell? What have your experiences been like?