Pressure on the siblings
My daughter has DS. Her younger brother has a speech and fine motor delay. They say he will catch up by kindergarten. They say he has no other problem. (Believe me, we have had every test done.) Still, I find myself worrying more over him than my daughter with DS. My daughter has such an obvious disablitly. EVERYONE is so kind and patient with her. I have been analyzing myself and find that I am so anxious about having Christopher catch up to his peers. Why is that? I am so laid back about Donna. It’s not that I find that her situation is hopeless or anything but I am more accepting of her limitations. It is what it is. With my son, I can’t fathom why he is having trouble with speech, etc. I am only learning now how to cut him some slack. At first I was so gung ho and pushing Montessori ed. etc. That didn’t work out. Then we got him into special needs preschool prorgram where he gets his speech and OT. I was so overly ambitious I ALSO enrolled him into a typical preschool. The poor kid was absolutely exhausted going to 2 schools. Then they told me he wasn’t able to keep up in the typical school and I was crushed. It wasn’t until I took him out of the typical and stopped by the special school and saw how totally happy he was there that I came to my senses. I haven’t been writing on the blog for a while because I have been busy analyzing this whole thing. I am coming to the realization that I have been expecting my son to be this wild success in response to my daughter’s limitations instead of just going with the flow and enjoying and accepting who he is. I know my situation can’t possibly that unique and I was wondering if anybody else has had any similar experience?
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As you know, Teddy has two younger brothers…Rebecca and I frequently discuss our concerns about the focus we spend on Ted vis-a-vis the other two kiddos. As the middle child, Cooper has the double whammy … Our goal is to do the best we can and hope that our best is good enough…The fact that you’re writing about this issue means that you are at least conscientious which in my mind is half the battle.
I would love to see some blog posts about your other kiddo … This is your canvas and it certainly doesn’t need to be 100% DS oriented.
Thanks for all you do.
Justin
I was just blogging about something similar to this, why I have such high expectation for my “typical” daughter, but just let Kayla be herself for the most part. Laurie came home with an 88 for math on her progress report and I was upset with that. Meanwhile, I get excited when Kayla just POINTS at something.
I agree, this is difficult. I have a typical 4 year old, who refused to have his picture taken last Friday for Picture Day at his Pre-school. I was heart broken. I know how much I want to know what it is to experience being the parent of a typical child, and all the fun that can go along with that – including picture day! But, my Pauly is an individualist, and his Momma has become quite the conformist since moving to the suburbs. I am trying to embrace the personalities and health of the children God has placed in my care.